I sit here trying to work, as my 6 year old daughter, who ails with the stomach flu, asks me questions and shows me her drawings of bleeding dinosaurs. As I turn back to my monitor the ‘new email’ chime sounds and I go to my inbox. My work isn’t flowing right now any way so I may as well check my email. It’s a newsletter from goodreads. Here is what I read as I open the email.

NOTE: the image no longer exists but it told me that I started reading a book that I was reading in relation to creating my kids book over 1 year ago from the date of this post.

How discouraging. It’s been more than a year since I began my mission of writing and illustrating Our 1984. I haven’t done it. I have barely even scratched the surface. Where do I go from here? Where is the line where I say to my self, “you’re crazy, you need to let it go.” My business is getting more and more busy and family life is also increasing in demand. Perhaps it’s all a naive vision that is not attainable in my present life situation. I am in the process of whittling away at my work load, re-evaluating my work flow and trying to attain balance in my life and work. If I can somehow achieve this I can perhaps refocus and apply 1 or 2 hours here and there to the project. I’m currently illustrating a small children’s book for an old friend. Once that is done my extracurricular art plate will be empty and may be begging for content. Perhaps then I’ll dive back in. It’s hard to realize I’ve seen so much time go by with so little progress on something I want to do.

Anyway. Reality hurts and pisses me off.

Here’s to the hope that I get my ducks in a row.